Okay, so networking. The word itself makes me cringe a little, and I’m guessing maybe you feel the same way? It conjures up images of crowded rooms, forced smiles, and exchanging business cards with people you’ll probably never talk to again. Ugh, what a mess! Honestly, for years I avoided it like the plague. I’m naturally introverted, happy with my own company, and the idea of putting myself out there like that? No thanks.
But, funny thing is, I realized I was missing out. Not just on potential job opportunities (though that’s definitely part of it), but on actually meeting interesting people and expanding my horizons. I just had to figure out how to do it my way, in a way that didn’t feel…soul-crushing. And that’s what I want to talk about – networking for the rest of us, the people who would rather read a book than work a room.
My Networking Fail – and What I Learned
I remember one particular networking event, it was for creatives in my city. I thought, “Okay, this is it! Time to conquer my fears!” I even prepped some witty things to say (or at least I *thought* they were witty). I wore something that felt “professional but cool,” you know the drill. I even practiced my power handshake.
The reality? I spent most of the evening hiding in a corner, nursing a lukewarm glass of wine, and feeling incredibly awkward. I managed to introduce myself to maybe two people, mumbled something about my work, and then promptly forgot their names. One of them was super enthusiastic about crypto, and honestly, I got totally lost in the conversation and just nodded a lot. Was I the only one confused by this? Later I saw him pitch his NFT project to someone else. Yikes.
The whole experience felt fake, forced, and utterly exhausting. I left feeling like a complete failure. But, after some serious self-reflection (and a large pizza), I realized the problem wasn’t networking itself, it was the *way* I was trying to do it. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, and that never works. From then on, I decided to change tactics. No more trying to be Mr. Extrovert. Time to embrace my introverted superpowers.
Rethinking Networking: It’s About Connection, Not Collection
So, what does “introverted networking” look like? It’s about quality over quantity. Forget collecting hundreds of business cards; focus on building a few meaningful connections. It’s about finding people who share your interests, values, or goals, and engaging in genuine conversations. It’s not about selling yourself, it’s about building relationships.
Instead of thinking of networking as a chore, try reframing it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect with like-minded individuals. Think of it as making friends. You wouldn’t walk up to a stranger and launch into a sales pitch, would you? Same applies here. Be curious, ask questions, and genuinely listen to what people have to say. Who even knows what’s next? You might be surprised at what you discover.
Where to Find Your Tribe (Without the Crowds)
The good news is, you don’t have to go to those awful crowded events to network. There are plenty of other ways to connect with people, many of which are much more comfortable for introverts.
- Online Communities: Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups, online forums – these are goldmines for finding people who share your interests. Engage in discussions, offer your expertise, and connect with people who resonate with you.
- Workshops and Classes: Learning a new skill is a great way to meet people who are also interested in that skill. Whether it’s a pottery class, a coding workshop, or a writing group, you’ll have a built-in common ground to start a conversation.
- Volunteer Opportunities: Volunteering for a cause you care about is a fantastic way to meet people who share your values. Plus, it’s a rewarding way to spend your time.
- Industry-Specific Events (but Strategically): If you *do* decide to attend an in-person event, be strategic. Research the event beforehand, identify a few people you’d like to meet, and come prepared with some talking points. And don’t feel obligated to stay the whole time!
The Art of the Follow-Up (Without Being Creepy)
Okay, you’ve made a connection. Now what? The follow-up is crucial, but it’s also where many introverts stumble. The key is to be genuine and specific. Don’t just send a generic “Nice to meet you!” email. Reference something specific you talked about, offer to share a resource, or suggest a future conversation.
For instance, after that disastrous creative event (the one where I hid in the corner), I actually did manage to connect with someone briefly. We talked about our shared love of graphic novels. So, a few days later, I sent him an email: “Hey [Name], it was great chatting about graphic novels the other night. I just remembered a new one I think you might enjoy, ‘[Name of Graphic Novel]’. Thought of you! Let me know if you’ve read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.” Boom. Easy, specific, and not at all salesy.
It’s also important to be patient. Don’t expect an immediate response, and don’t get discouraged if people don’t reply. Life happens. Just keep nurturing the connections you value and the rest will follow.
Leveraging Your Introverted Strengths
Here’s the thing: introverts have a lot to offer in the networking game. We’re often great listeners, we’re thoughtful, and we tend to build deeper, more meaningful relationships. Don’t underestimate these strengths!
Instead of trying to be someone you’re not, embrace your introverted qualities. Use your listening skills to understand people’s needs and challenges. Share your thoughtful insights and perspectives. And don’t be afraid to take your time to build trust and rapport.
I realized that my quiet observation skills actually helped me understand the dynamics of a room better than the extroverts who were flitting around trying to meet everyone. I could identify who was genuinely interested in connecting and who was just collecting business cards. This insight helped me focus my energy on the people who were actually worth talking to.
Ditch the Pressure, Embrace the Process
Networking shouldn’t feel like a pressure cooker. It’s a process, not a destination. Some connections will blossom, others will fade. And that’s okay. The most important thing is to be yourself, be genuine, and focus on building relationships that are mutually beneficial.
I used to put so much pressure on myself to “network” effectively. I’d set unrealistic goals, beat myself up when I didn’t meet them, and end up feeling even more discouraged. But once I shifted my mindset to focus on simply making friends and learning from others, the whole process became much more enjoyable.
My Go-To Introvert Networking Tool: LinkedIn (Used Strategically)
Okay, gotta admit, LinkedIn used to intimidate me. It felt like everyone was showing off their amazing accomplishments and I was just… well, me. But I’ve learned to use it strategically, in a way that feels authentic to my introverted self.
Instead of mindlessly scrolling, I focus on engaging with content from people and companies I genuinely admire. I share articles I find interesting, offer thoughtful comments, and occasionally reach out to people who are doing work that inspires me.
I’ve actually landed a few freelance gigs and even met some incredible mentors through LinkedIn. The key is to be genuine, be helpful, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there in a thoughtful, considered way. It’s kind of like writing a letter, but on a professional social media platform. Less frantic than a live conference!
One Last Thing: Be Patient with Yourself
Look, networking is a skill, and it takes time and practice to develop. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results immediately. Just keep putting yourself out there, keep learning, and keep building those connections.
And remember, it’s okay to be an introvert. We bring a unique set of strengths to the table, and we have just as much to offer as anyone else. So, ditch the small talk, embrace your introverted superpowers, and start building those real connections. You might be surprised at what you discover.
And if all else fails, there’s always pizza and a good book waiting for you at home. No shame in that game either.
