Unlocking Your Personality: My Adventures with the Enneagram
What Exactly IS the Enneagram? (And Why Should I Care?)
Okay, so for years I’d heard whispers about the Enneagram. People throwing around numbers like they were secret codes. “Oh, she’s such a Type 2.” “Definitely a Type 8.” I was totally lost. Honestly, it sounded like some weird cult thing at first. Who has time for another personality test, right? We’ve all done the Myers-Briggs thing, the “what kind of pizza are you” quizzes… felt like the world was already full of ways to label ourselves. But curiosity, as it often does, eventually got the better of me.
So, what *is* the Enneagram? In simple terms, it’s a system that maps out nine interconnected personality types. But it’s way more than just a simple quiz result. It dives deep into your core motivations, fears, and desires. It’s about understanding *why* you do what you do, not just *what* you do. That’s where it gets really interesting. It’s supposedly ancient, originating from… well, that’s where it gets fuzzy. Some say it goes way back to Sufi mystics, others point to South American roots. Regardless of its origin, the modern Enneagram is a powerful tool for self-discovery. It’s kind of like having a roadmap to your inner world. And honestly, who doesn’t want that?
My Enneagram Awakening: Type 6 and the Curse of Questioning Everything
My own Enneagram journey started, predictably, with an online quiz. There are a million of them out there, some better than others. I took a free one – which, in hindsight, maybe wasn’t the best idea – and the results came back: Type 6, The Loyalist. My initial reaction? Skepticism. Shocking, I know, since Type 6s are known for their… skepticism. It described me as responsible, anxious, committed, but also prone to doubt and worrying. Sounded… accurate. Ugh.
The more I read, the more unnervingly spot-on it felt. Type 6s are apparently driven by a need for security and support. We’re always looking for potential dangers, anticipating worst-case scenarios. We can be incredibly loyal and hardworking, but also plagued by self-doubt and indecision. “Analysis paralysis” is our middle name. And the bit about doubting? Yeah, that’s me in a nutshell. I overthink *everything*. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make the wrong decision? What if… well, you get the idea. It’s exhausting. Finding out my Enneagram type was both validating and slightly depressing. Validating because, hey, I’m not crazy! There’s a reason I’m always second-guessing myself. Depressing because… well, now I know *exactly* how crazy I am.
Beyond the Number: Diving Deeper into My Type 6 Tendencies
Okay, so I’m a Type 6. Now what? Just knowing my number wasn’t enough. I needed to understand the nuances, the wings, the levels of health. Apparently, each type has two “wings,” which are the numbers on either side of them. So, as a Type 6, I could lean towards Type 5 (The Investigator) or Type 7 (The Enthusiast). Turns out, I’m a 6w5 – a Type 6 with a 5 wing. This means I’m even *more* analytical and introverted than your average 6. Surprise!
Then there are the levels of health, which describe how each type behaves at their best and their worst. When healthy, Type 6s are courageous, independent, and trusting. They’re able to face their fears and stand up for what they believe in. When unhealthy… well, let’s just say we become even *more* anxious, suspicious, and reactive. We can become paranoid and even develop phobias. Ugh, what a mess! The Enneagram isn’t just about identifying your weaknesses; it’s about understanding how to move towards health and integration. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself. It’s given me something to actively work towards.
That Time I Almost Ruined a Dinner Party (Thanks, Type 6 Anxieties!)
Okay, time for a confession. A few months ago, I was hosting a dinner party. Nothing fancy, just a few close friends. But, being a Type 6, I naturally started worrying about everything. What if the food wasn’t good enough? What if the conversation was boring? What if everyone hated each other? I spent days obsessing over the menu, the seating arrangements, the playlist… everything.
I remember vividly spending an entire afternoon online trying to find the “perfect” appetizer recipe. I settled on some fancy artichoke dip that required, like, a million ingredients. Then, on the day of the party, I completely panicked. I convinced myself that the dip was going to be a disaster, that everyone would think I was a terrible cook. So, what did I do? I almost scrapped the whole thing and ordered pizza instead! Luckily, my partner talked me down. He reminded me that my friends weren’t expecting perfection. They just wanted to spend time together. And, you know what? He was right. The dip was fine. The party was fun. And no one even noticed that I was secretly a nervous wreck. It really highlighted how my type can sometimes get the best of me and helped me put it in perspective.
Beyond Self-Discovery: Using the Enneagram to Understand Others
The funny thing is, the Enneagram isn’t just about understanding yourself. It’s also about understanding other people. Once you start recognizing the different types, you begin to see the world in a whole new way. You start to understand why people behave the way they do, what motivates them, what scares them. My sister, for instance, is clearly a Type 3 (The Achiever). She’s driven, ambitious, and always striving for success. For years, I thought she was just a workaholic. But now I understand that her need for achievement comes from a deep-seated fear of failure.
My best friend? Probably a Type 9 (The Peacemaker). She’s easygoing, supportive, and always trying to avoid conflict. I used to think she was just indecisive. But now I realize that her desire for harmony is a core part of her personality. Understanding the Enneagram has helped me to be more compassionate, more patient, and more understanding of the people in my life. It’s made me a better friend, a better partner, and a better human being. It’s funny how a system of personality types can do that, right? You can even spot them in fictional characters; it’s kind of fun to analyze.
Are There Downsides? My Concerns About Pigeonholing People
Okay, so the Enneagram has been pretty amazing for me. But I also have some reservations. I worry about using it to pigeonhole people, to box them into a specific category. It’s important to remember that the Enneagram is just a tool. It’s not meant to define you or limit you. It’s meant to help you grow and evolve. It’s also easy to misuse or misunderstand. Some people use it to justify their bad behavior (“Oh, I’m just a Type 8, so I’m naturally aggressive”). That’s not what it’s about!
The Enneagram is about understanding your patterns, not excusing them. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and working towards becoming a healthier version of yourself. Also, it can be easy to misdiagnose yourself or others. The quizzes are helpful, but they’re not always accurate. It’s important to do your own research and to really reflect on your core motivations and fears. Be careful about using it to judge others, or to put them down. It’s about compassion, not condemnation. Using the tool to understand someone is very different than saying “Oh, you’re just a typical Type X”. That’s a big no-no.
So, Should You Try the Enneagram? My Final Verdict
After all this, you might be wondering if the Enneagram is right for you. My answer? It depends. If you’re looking for a quick fix, a magic bullet to solve all your problems, then no. The Enneagram isn’t that. But if you’re genuinely curious about yourself, if you’re willing to do the work, and if you’re open to new perspectives, then yes, definitely give it a try. It might just change your life. It’s certainly changed mine. I still struggle with my Type 6 anxieties, but now I understand them better. I know what triggers them, and I know how to cope with them.
I’m more self-aware, more compassionate, and more accepting of myself and others. The Enneagram isn’t the final answer. It’s a continuous journey of self-discovery. Just remember to approach it with an open mind, a healthy dose of skepticism, and a willingness to laugh at yourself along the way. And maybe don’t make fancy artichoke dip for your first dinner party. Just saying. If you’re as curious as I was, you might want to dig into attachment theory, another interesting way to understand relationships. Who even knows what’s next? But I’m strangely excited to find out.
